Apparently, the British govt has brought out a test designed to bring out the true patriots from its population. Obviously everyone who fails in this test would be considered traitors or French or both.
The left front in India has called for a similar test to be designed, covering all aspects of Indian culture. They want Soniaji to take the test & once and for all prove her allegiance to India. Find out how patriotic you are by taking it.
1.What is black,wears a weird tie, walks back & forth and thinks he is one of the most powerful man in India?
2.Name the "first family" of India?
3.What has been the most powerful reference to the sport of tennis that India has seen in the last year?
4.What is India's national dish?
5.Who is the only person who can make Indias national icons cry without getting his/her effigy burnt in the streets?
6.How many reality shows featuring singing competitions are on air in India?
Answers
1. The TTE (Travelling Ticket Examiner in our trains)
2. The Bachchans
3. Sachin Tendulkar's tennis elbow
4. Gobi Manchurian
5. Simi Garewal
6. This is a trick question, as no true Indian can answer this.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Cows !
There is this classic forward about two cows & what happens to them in different countries/systems etc. Never one to shy away from a remix, here s a desi version.
KERALA :You have two cows. As soon as you start milking one, there is a huge uproar from the milkers union about how you are trying to deprive poor milkmen of jobs. Then you start a ltd company & offer two milkmen jobs. From the first day there is a strike & lockout demanding better wages. In the meanwhile the court orders that there should be no more milking till the issue is settled by an Ombudsman.
TAMIL NADU :Jayalalithaa owns both the cows. A token is issued to every single Tamilian to collect 1 litre of free milk, a dhoti and a saree.
KARNATAKA :As they are brought into bangalore, the cows get stuck in a traffic jam for a week & die. The IT industry immediately highlights the issue & says how instead of milking cows, the govt should be worried about urban infrastructural issues.
ANDHRA PRADESH :The two cows are milked by foreign consultants & the milk given to the CM. But the entire andhra state can see the cows being milked through a webcam.
GOA :Both the cows are owned by Vijay Mallya. For his fiftieth birthday, all passengers on Kingfisher airlines enjoy beef vindaloo.
BOMBAY :The shiv sena claims that one of the cows is in fact not a Mumbaikar but one of the millions of migrants from rural india. In the following week, 500 cows are killed.
DELHI :There were two cows to begin with. After a week, one of the cows is raped in CP in the afternoon.
KERALA :You have two cows. As soon as you start milking one, there is a huge uproar from the milkers union about how you are trying to deprive poor milkmen of jobs. Then you start a ltd company & offer two milkmen jobs. From the first day there is a strike & lockout demanding better wages. In the meanwhile the court orders that there should be no more milking till the issue is settled by an Ombudsman.
TAMIL NADU :Jayalalithaa owns both the cows. A token is issued to every single Tamilian to collect 1 litre of free milk, a dhoti and a saree.
KARNATAKA :As they are brought into bangalore, the cows get stuck in a traffic jam for a week & die. The IT industry immediately highlights the issue & says how instead of milking cows, the govt should be worried about urban infrastructural issues.
ANDHRA PRADESH :The two cows are milked by foreign consultants & the milk given to the CM. But the entire andhra state can see the cows being milked through a webcam.
GOA :Both the cows are owned by Vijay Mallya. For his fiftieth birthday, all passengers on Kingfisher airlines enjoy beef vindaloo.
BOMBAY :The shiv sena claims that one of the cows is in fact not a Mumbaikar but one of the millions of migrants from rural india. In the following week, 500 cows are killed.
DELHI :There were two cows to begin with. After a week, one of the cows is raped in CP in the afternoon.
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