After centuries of being oppressed, laughed at & being eaten, chicken are striking back. In a brave attempt at regaining their status at the top of the pecking order among domestic fowl below 4 kg, chicken are lashing out. In the last two weeks, it has been widely reported that mysterious chicken are roaming our lands, mingling with unsuspecting people & then handing over cards saying "Welcome to the flu club"
But human response have also been swift - After claiming that this is part of the growing western influence on our eating habits, unidentified miscreants go on to torch all book stores in Mumbai selling 'Chicken soup for the soul' to protect more innocents from learning the recipe. In a symbolic gesture US Vice president tries to shoot down birds that are suspected to carry these cards but also end up shooting his best friend, his wife, a stray cow & Mr Bean .
In yet another sting operation, an IBN reporter dressed as a chicken managed to get an exclusive interview with the top bird, who put forward these demands to end this war.
1. Stop questioning the intentions of Grandpa chicken by repeatedly asking the question "Why did the chicken cross the road" because as he himself has said many times - he was drunk & he does not remember
2. End the existentialist dilemma posed before thousands of young chicken - "Who came first? The egg or the chicken" by constituting a three member empowered committee to figure this out once and for all
3. Recognise the achievements of Johannsen Livingstone Chicken who perfected the art of the chicken run much before seagulls started to fly in crazy patterns & stopped eating dead fish, as an inspirational story of breaking out of your comfort zone & searching for the truth
4. Pay damages to the heirs of the three hundred generations of chicken who underwent severe psychological trauma, when they found out 'McChicken' was not a real surname
(The seeds of this post can be traced to an idea by Rashmi Bansal)
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