Balance of Power

There was a huge celebration in different parts of the country following the government's announcement that electricity would be supplied from 8 AM - 6 PM & 11 PM - 5 AM. However this cheer was shortlived as the govt quickly issued a correction saying electricity would definitely be cut off between 6 - 11 PM, but categorically denied all rumours of an assured supply during the rest of the day.

Soap majors - HLL, P&G & EKTAA Kappoor cried foul,labelling the whole suggestion as a conspiracy from MNCs to shut down the lucrative domestic soap industry. Ekta went one step further and offered to bring back to life any hero or vamp who had been killed off in any show of the power ministers wife's choice. Immediately after this the power minister resigned citing 'urgent domestic matters that require his personal attention' as a reason.

However, the English Teachers Association of India immediately hailed the decision saying that it will save an entire generation of young Indians from impending doom as they would not be exposed to 'astrologically correct' spelling & hence not develop a psychotic tendency to add an extra vowel to every word.

Ram Singh, a hardcore SRK fan - arrested by the police for the seventh time trying to redirect water from an overhead tank onto a cycle wheel & hoping to generate electricity for his entire village - could not understand what the fuss was all about & said that each Indian should stand up & try to generate his own power.

The UPA govt claimed a major victory for the 'Common Minimum Programme' which is the blueprint for an exciting life for the Common man with Minimum resources but a strong strategic nuclear Programme. But having a corporate outlook, the new minister commissioned a Consulting Major to come up with some solutions to the power crisis. Some lateral thinking months later, the firm suggested these alternatives -

1. Ban the famous "Readers Digest - You have won a fabulous prize" mailers. The firm found that hundreds of urban indians stay awake all night, consuming 100 MW of electricity trying to refer 50 of their close friends for an RD subscription, hoping to win a "How not to Retain your Friends - A best seller by Richard Lovelost"

2. Save the entire North East power grid by banning any future reruns of 'Saregama - the Final'. Apparently 4 lakh SMSes are received every day that some passing remark on Debojit's win appears on TV. Potential power savings also include hospitalisation costs of thousands of diehard fans currently undergoing treatment for thumb injuries.

3. Switch off power as soon as Dravid & Wasim Jaffer comes to bat together in any test innings. A three hour power cut during this period will save 500 MW and the viewer will miss only about three runs scored between them.

4. Arrange for a roadshow of 'Swades' in the different US cities, trying to lure back NRI rocket scientists from NASA to travel around the country in airconditioned caravans & build badly needed dams