Valentines - Tough days ahead for the Indian male

For many centuries, the youth of India was spared the nervous tension of 'dating' & the subsequent 'finding of the right one'. There was a well oiled network of old moms, aunts & uncles to do it for them. As a result, irrespective of their levels of sensitivity, sense of humour, height, weight & easiness on the eyes, guys got away with murder just based on their genes, whether they were from IIT/IIM, and the size of his "you know what". (pay packet - in case you dont)

So the short black fat dude whose sensitivity was limited to his RSS inflicted fingertips & sense of humour limited to internet forwards but from IIT & working in an MNC with a 6 fig salary could demand for a "very fair, beautiful girl interested in arts. Should be able to sing & dance well". And depending on the width & depth of his 'old mom' network - he could get her also.

Well, times are a changing.

With the so called 'liberalisation' sweeping among women that guys seem to encourage so much hoping to see more women in minis, little do they know that they are digging a grave with their name written all across & sadly most of them will go into it alone, without ever meeting a "fair, beautiful girl" in real life.

The 'dating' scene has hit India.

Now, girls in all metros & mini metros would expect that they would first go on dates with prospective grooms. And this would lead to all sorts of unreasonable expectations - like you would be expected to hold a conversation up without touching any of the following topics - Angelina Jolie, Max Payne, WWE (you may score bonus points if she thinks you are referring to that nature group) or the Indian cricket team. (Other than Dravid though - there is something with girls & dravid)

You would also be required to eat without spilling anything, drink without getting drunk - and no, you cannot stare at the restaurant TV all night and hope for the best. The best among us will fail, if they start expecting us to know the difference between 'salsa' & 'foxtrot'. (Yes, one of them is a mexican dish)

As Indian males, we have lost all our natural instincts to be hunters or gatherers - heck, we know our dads will hunt and our moms will gather. So all of a sudden, we may be asked to get into the arena without training, armour and robbed of our natural instincts through years of matrimonial advertising.

So buckle up country men. Its going to be a tough road ahead. The only hope that I see for majority of the Indian male population is the 'sensitive & funny' route. (Look at Ajay Devgan). Unless you look like Brad Pitt, play the violin, have a running account at a florist and can do the salsa. In which case, as many movies have shown us, you are likely to be a jerk whom the girls will finally ditch, in favour of us - the funny & sensitive ones.